I am born again on Thursday nights.

They'll never know.

A configuration of steps.
Coordinating movement.
Energy.

Is keeping me alive.
Enough to open my eyes
To hope, oxygen, sanity.

Hell is twofaced support.
Hell is months without Thai food.
Hell is forbidden secular music.

Their smiles.
Encouragement.
Pleading for a taste of understanding.

Fun.
Sounds.
Moves.

Communication.
Communicating the "city" in me.

Little did they know.
How lost I'd be without them.

I teach science.
They teach love.

I didn't see that one coming...

When is it not selfish to apologize?
When is it selfish to not forgive?
Reconciliation is bullshit. Sometimes.

Young. Naive.
A perfect sample of weak and vulnerable.
Hopeful. Positive. Clinging to make it work.
I'm glad that's over.

Seasonal message of contact.
Well, that is no longer your right.
Blocked.

I can never forget. I can never heal?
Someday. Forgiveness will come someday.
Not today. Not for you.

For myself. For me.
I forgive myself for allowing you to abuse me.
For continuing the cycle.

It stops. We'll stop it.
My love of my life and I.
Salud.
Begin again.

Begin anew.
Together.
Forever. And ever.